Just as I started this sketch, an elderly couple sat at the picnic table to enjoy the surroundings of Swallow Cliff South. Talking to each other and occasionally smiling, my heart became tender. Tears started to well, but I kept my big girl pants on and held it together….
This was a future I thought I was going to have but my life had other plans. That’s not to say I will never have it, just not as I thought it would be. Why am I saying all this?
Because the God I find in nature is the One who carries me through. When I go out and get lost in the woods, it’s not just to play in the leaves, I am connecting. I am listening to the whispers in the wind for direction. I am waiting for the tug at my heart to follow a certain path. My door is open and I am seeking. I am quiet and I am waiting. Patiently (well, sort of).
I am never alone.
In the midst of pain it is hard to realize this but each day I can hear a little more clearly.
There is nothing special about me. This revelation is available to anyone who wants it. Anyone. Just be willing.
If you would like to tap into the promises made for you and understand what Christ has already done, please see the having peace page.
I am ready to live the life I was designed to live….whatever that may be. I fought the vortex from that black hole called fear. I’m not out of the woods yet, but well under way.
thank you…I will take all I can get 😉
Everything in its time…..
You are so right. I value wisdome like that. Thanks!
I have gone through similar pain as you have this past year. It seemed as if my entire life collapsed around me. On the day I walked out of my abusive marriage I checked in to an inn for a few days. I was parking my car when a woman came up to me. She asked if I would be able to take some pictures of her and her boyfriend under the arch of what would become a beautiful garden in the spring. He had just proposed to her on bended knee. I guess I should have thought that God was playing some kind of mean trick on me to put me in that place at that time. But that is not how I felt. There was this thankfulness that ran through my being at being there to witness this. I felt as if God was showing me what was now possible in my future because I had the courage to love myself — finally to love myself. God put that couple in your path on that day to show you what is now possible in your future. It was a piece of driftwood for you to hold onto as you travel the path set before you. It was a sign of hope of things to come. It was a sign of His love for you. It was His way of “winking” at you to say …. I hear your heart. In time, this will come to you.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. I will cling on to the driftwood. This analogy made me tear up…..a heart-felt thank you goes out to you. I will always remember this!
Some of us are blessed with many chapters in our lives and some with few. My mother had very few. She was 31 years old when she passed and I have always thought about how much I have lived (I am 63) and how much she did not. I have had many romantic chapters open and close in my lifetime thusfar – my mother only had one and it did not close well. She was never even able to start a new chapter having a relationship with herself and the God of her understanding for any length of time. Life chapters can be very painful when they are ending — they are like a death – but you are still very much alive and it is certain you will have new life ahead of you — a new chapter in your life will begin — a resurrection of sorts. I don’t know what that will look like but it will be “life” and you will be participating in it once again. For now, because you are a child of God, it may be your time to simply cling to God in each moment and trust that whatever new chapter awaits you, it will be coming from the gift of Life. God is preparing you for your next chapter and all God is asking you for is patience and trust in God. You are healthy and strong, creative and spiritual – you see the world with far more clarity than most people do. What do you want your next chapter to look like? A repeat of the one that closed or something brand new? Or something only God is preparing for you that is not for you to know just yet but to simply trust God with your future and the Gift that is to surely come for you as it has over and over again for me? “All things work for good for those who love God.” When you love God completely and want only God, what else is more important than that? God wants you to be happy, not lonely. Just keep remembering how loved you are by the One who can love you like no mortal can. Keep painting, Christine — keep writing in this blog — keep doing what you are doing – you are on the right path – just trust God with your life – you have always been in God’s Care and will always be. I know you know all of this, dear angel with amnesia — I’m just reminding you once again and hope you remind me when I forget.
Thank you so much Alanna, for sharing about your Mom. And thank you for strengthening me in my journey. I recognize when you said, “God is asking you for His patience and trust…”, this is what I must acknowledge. I will do this even though difficult…..especially the patience part (I don’t have much). haha…thanks!
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Love your work, as always, Christine.
I know you’ve had a very tough time this year, and I also know you’re a woman of great faith. I believe God most assuredly does hold us in the palm of his hand, and that we must all listen for His voice, in all life’s circumstances.
And… that all things really do work together for good, for those who love God and seek to walk in his ways. Calls for a helluva lotta trust sometimes, but that’s part of the package, I guess.
Advent’s a good time to appreciate mysteries, and freely admit we do not have all the answers, and that that’s a good thing. It’s also a season of waiting, patience, and hope– all good lessons. Hang tough, keep smilin’, keeping you in my prayers, and wishing you well.